Insult Them...and They Will Buy...

Did you ever walk around the mall and try to avoid those people at the individual kiosks? Especially the ones for the Dead Sea products? Sometimes there is just no avoiding them for one reason or another. I have two stories of the Dead Sea people that you are bound to enjoy.

Story One: Thank You for Reminding Me of My Loneliness
My first encounter with the Dead Sea kiosk occurred in Springfield Mall. I was meeting a friend of mine in Friendly's when I attempted to avoid the kiosk. The man made it impossible because he grabbed me by my arm and lead me to the kiosk. He starts putting some of the scrub on my hands then tells me to feel how smooth and soft my arm is. I tell him that I don't have money for it and he keeps pressing.
DSM (Dead Sea Man): Let me ask you a question, that smooth right? Are you married?
Me: No. But thank you for reminding me that I'm not married yet.
DSM: OH well you have a boyfriend?
Me: No. But again, thank you so much for reminding me what a pathetic lonely life I lead.
What was worse (though now quite funny) is that he got silent after I said no to both questions. However it didn't stop him.
DSM: I was going to say you man would love this.
After that he let me go on my way. I was already depressed about being single but to be reminded by asking me that? I thought wow. Thanks so much. You raised my self esteem by -30 pts.

Story Two: Dead Sea likes to Remind Me of What I Don't Have
So I told my boyfriend not to look at them or take anything from the Dead Sea people because that's how they reel you in. Well he took a free sample and sure enough they just pulled him in. So I'm there with him, trying to be nice and of course the woman took care of my boyfriend while the man tried to take care of me. For someone who has worked in retail for a long time, I can say that their strategy is not the way to win a customer. Here's how it went (DSM or DSW = Dead Sea Man and Dead Sea Woman, JB= my boyfriend, and of course then Me)
DSW and DSM: Let us ask you question. Do you use moisturizer?
JB: I do.
Me: I don't.
DSW and DSM: Oh no no no no. Yes, I can tell. I'll tell you what, this will work wonders and help with dry skin. You try no?
JB: Okay.
DSM: Are you married?
JB and Me: Not yet. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not his wife. Pleasure.
DSM: Do you have children?
Me: I don't. Again, thank you for reminding me that I'm not a mother yet.
JB: I have 3.
(They start chatting about the kids)
DSM: I am from Israel and I go back soon but I like you. (puts his arm around me) You are so great and pleasant. I like you.
That's nice, boyfriend standing right there
DSM: What do you do?
Me: I work at a library but I'm a writer.
DSM: Oh you write? Me too. What you write?
Me: Novels, Fantasy, Christian
DSM: Oh I write novels too but like you know naughty novels.
So this goes on for a few minutes and they finally get to the prices. They try to get Jeff to buy me something and we're both like, "We only have money for dinner and we have to go cause we're meeting someone for dinner."
DSW: Well let me tell you something. I'll make special deal for you today. Okay, you get this and this for $29.99. Just for you.
JB: We really don't have the money.
DSW: Okay, how about this for $19.99?
What part of we don't have money and we're meeting a friend for dinner do you not understand?

So beware the Dead Sea people. Don't take samples or anything because they never let you go! They're pushy and too nosy into your personal business. It really is funnier when you hear my tone because it's meant to be funny although an irritating situation. Pretend you're on your phone or fighting. They won't dare stop you.

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