Movie Review: Sharknado *Spoiler Alert*

Sharknado
Starring Ian Ziering and Tara Reid
Sharknado, sharknado, sharknado, what can I say? Well first I'd like to point out that my boyfriend advised me not to watch this film, citing that I would lose some IQ points but I am happy to report that I made it through, IQ points and all. Yay! Now moving on...
I am assuming that Sharknado is a parody consisting of a combination of Jaws, Twister, end of the world, zombie essence type film. Granted there are no zombies in this film but hey we have a chainsaw folks and the "aim for the head" type logic in here. I'm also assuming it's a parody because of a few factors:
1. The Actors Who Haven't Had a Job in a While So Let's Give Them a Stereotypical Role Factor: We are looking at actors that we haven't seen in a long time (Ian Ziering and Tara Reid). I mean who knew that Steve Sanders would be married to Vicky from American Pie and have two children who one has a taste for the damsel in distress, show me you love me daughter and a son who is a chip off the ol' block who randomly cares for a girl he met for a whole three seconds? Mind blowing. Oh and not to mention that everyone's favorite rich movie dad, Mr. McCallister from Home Alone ended up as a lonely drunk picking up young women. I guess Kevin wasn't the only one left alone. Karma, Mr. McCallister, it's called karma!
2. The Audience is Always Right is so So Wrong! Factor: Every death in this movie was predictable and is yet another piece of evidence contributing to my parody logic. If you are a drunk who uses a bar stool as your main weapon against sharks AND you surprisingly become an unlikely hero at the edge of danger, chances are you're going to die. If you were just rescued from being eaten by a shark and you say you hate sharks then when you're in the "safety zone" yet away from the other rescued victims, chances are you're going to die (especially when you mutter words like "my mom always said Hollywood would kill me," yeah no shocker about that one). If you are the one dividing a family and being a prick to the hero of the movie then chances are you're going to die. If you almost died in the beginning of the film, volunteer to sacrifice yourself, and the person helping you almost or does get killed then chances are you're going to die. When you stab a shark, yelling "Why won't you die?!" Chances are it's because it's going to eat you.
3. The "Intimate" Moment Between Father and Daughter: It was just so touching how Claudia revealed her true feelings to her dad after she acted like a bitch to him all this time then has a problem with her parents getting along. Hello? Look at the movie you're in. Of course your parents are going to get along during a highly emotionally unstable situation. They may even find themselves attracted to one another again. However I feel the most sensitive part was when Fin told his daughter "I came for you first, remember that." Oh we remember because there was no mention of a son until it was revealed that he was not home but I'm glad Fin took the time to clear that up. Not to mention that later on, Claudia decides she loves her dad because he pushed her out of the way so he could get swallowed by the shark because nothing says love like getting swallowed by a shark whole.
4. The Whiny Bitchy Does Nothing Mother Except for One Shining Moment (No really, it lasted a second) So Tara Reid's character does nothing but complain, lecture, roll her eyes, and run so I guess the filmmakers needed her to have a bit of a shining moment where she looks "hot." Her shining moment comes when the sharks start flying again and she yells, "Fin!" kicking his chainsaw to him. Planned ultimate "hot" mama moment, epic fail.
5. Surprise! Our Main Hero Steps in to Save the Day & an Important Subliminal Message for Sharks: After his son, Matt, fails to destroy the final tornado, Fin steps in to "put an end to it once and for all" with his trusty chainsaw. Not that I blame him. It looks like sharks meat is pretty tough to cut through. A chainsaw will always get the job done! Anyway, just as he's about to get swallowed, Fin turns his chainsaw on and leaps at the shark. Now the angle which this is happening would make you think you'd see the chainsaw slicing the shark up but no; the shark swallows our hero! His family clearly looks upset as they just stare at the shark's body on the ground. Suddenly it moves and Fin chainsaws his way out of the stomach of the shark. Ironically enough, Nova or Jenny Lynn is in the same shark. NO WAY! I tell ya, the chances of that happening! However I have some sympathy for the shark. He lost his lunch and dinner. Now let this be a lesson to you sharks, always chew before you swallow. It's not good to swallow your food whole otherwise, they will cut you open like a watermelon and leave your belly empty again!

All in all, I didn't dislike Sharknado but I didn't love it either; however I must give the filmmakers credit for creating a film that holds our attention. Whether you love the movie or you just couldn't tear your eyes away because it was kind of intriguing, it got your attention cause you made it to the end! YAY! Unlike Mr. McCallister.  I would actually like to see Ian Ziering cast for more roles because he is a good actor and I think he has potential for more.
As for recommending the film, I would say watch at your own risk. Like I said, I didn't hate it but I didn't love it. I recommend viewing this film when you're having a bleh type of day because after this movie, you will think to yourself, "Wow, I really dodged a bullet today. Just think, I could've been swallowed by a shark!" I then believe that you will run out, buy a chainsaw and just wait for a tornado to hit where you stare Mother Nature in the face and say "Bring it on."

So good luck, enjoy the exquisite form of film and I'll be back with more later!